Every now and then, we come across a situation that absolutely stumps us. Let’s face it, in most problem situations we know exactly what to do. Sometimes we do it, sometimes we rationalize our decision not to do it becasue the solution is so hard. It might be confronting a friend about hurt feelings, it might be apologizing to a colleague for an inconsiderate act, or it might be to skip the party and paint the garage.

Those are not the problems I am talking about. What I’m talking about here is the kind of problem that you think about for days. You play out a number of scenarios in your mind on the way to school. It could be a student that does not respond to any strategy you have ever tried. I am talking about problems that have us stuck.

I do not claim to be an authority on how to get unstuck, but I would like to share something that has worked well for me. When you have a problem and you do not know what to do–help someone else with their problem.

Help them with their problem becasue it is a neighborly thing to do. Help them also for selfish reasons. You are stuck with your problem either becasue you cannot picture what a successful resolution would look like or becasue you cannot figure out how to make the resolution happen. As David Allen wrote: “There are only two problems a human can have. First, you know what you want and you don’t know how to get it. Second, you don’t know what you want.” I agree with David Allen when he contends that many more problems fall into the first category than the latter.

When you help someone with a problem they are having it does a couple of things. First, it allows you to feel as though you are making progress, even if you are not an inch closer to solving your problem. Momentum is an important thing. On balance, I think I would rather have the momentum moving toward solution than away from it. Second, and more importantly, working on someone else’s problem allows you to see flaws in your own thinking. When you participate in a strategy that works, chances are that you will stumble upon the missing piece to your solution.

Give this a try.