I am hospitable to all students by always welcoming them when they enter the office–even if they are not specifically there to see me. I also extend any opportunity to assist students when I can. Students know they can see me at anytime if they have a question, problem or just to have a conversation. Obviously, there are times when I cannot see a student immediately, however, I always arrange a time convenient to their schedule whereby we can give full attention to their specific need. In addition, I always try to find ways to implement student suggestions. I host a bi-monthly student advisory committee (PAC-consisting of students from all grade levels) to discuss current student concerns and/or focus on improving student life at our school.

I cannot think of anytime I have treated students as unwelcomed guests. Our entire staff prioritizes students’ needs and suggestions and tirelessly try to incorporate as many of their suggestions as possible. I think I will take this question back to the PAC in the fall to see when or if students have felt like unwelcomed guests in their school.

Teachers benefit greatly from practicing hospitality toward students. There is no greater honor than to have a student turn to you of their own accord for assistance or advice. Consistently being open, dependable and hospitable toward students creates a foundation of trust. Students will feel comfortable in sharing their world with you, which in turn connects you to all students. The benefits for teacher/administrator is endless–students look for the opportunity to be of assistance and contribute to their school. If they know their opinions are important to you (the teacher/administrator), they will in turn value your opinions and that connection is powerful. Hospitality toward students benefits teachers in that students see the teacher in a different light–not just the authority figure with power, but a real person who cares and welcomes that positive influence on their lives. The reason we are teachers/administrators is to make a difference with all students. Hospitality to students results in establishing a positive relationship built on trust between teacher and student.

I treat students with respect. I teach them ways in which to show respect for others. I take time at the very beginning to model hopitable behavior. I greet them at the door in the morning, bid them a good lunch, and a good night at the end of the day. I Teach them to respond in kind to me every time. I use “please and thank you” and find that students respond in the same manner but if they do not I teach them to say it. I apologize when I am wrong, grouchy, or unsure. I also use appropriate humor. I try to always be firm, fair, and consistent.

I do not think that I treat students as unwelcomed guests, but I imagine that very few people would consciously choose to do it. I suppose like anyone there are times when I am more flexible. I have high expectations for student behavior and learning. I do take it personally when someone does not live up to those expectations, but I don’t know that I treat them as unwanted guests during those times.

I think the benefits to treating students hopitably are myriad. When there is a problem, I can usually de-escalate a situation by reminding students that I do not speak to them or treat them disrespectfully and that they should not, even when they’re angry, do so to me. Usually, this is very effective. I have had students thank me for staying on them when they slack. They feel that I care enough about them to not want to see them fail or get into trouble.

I was very curious to see the responses about “unwelcome guests” on the blog. We’re so out in the open, here, in cyberspace and vulnerable in front of the whole world.

About “unwelcome guests” and connecting that with my own identity and integrity, I have a personal story. In my first job it was very common – it was practically the school norm for people to yell, all day long, all of the time. There was a lot of yelling. I’m not a quiet person by any means. I talk loud, listen to loud music, I even had a loud muffler on my car once; but this loudness and yelling was was a behavior exhibited by many others in my school. So, I did it too - mostly when all of my other great lesson design strategies and classroom management techniques and tools and everything else that I knew to do failed me – I resorted to what I saw working for other people. It wasn’t “life giving”� as Parker J. Palmer says in the book, but it seemed to work, once in a desperate while when I needed it to.

Then there was the day that� yelling failed me. I will never forget that day and the look in a child’s eyes, the solitary tear; the crumbling of all the very difficult work we had done over the past few months. That was the day that I snapped at someone who I never, ever, ever yelled at or even raised my tone or made any sort of inhospitable anything toward, rather I always went out of my way to be extra gentle toward this one student. If I could have, I would have bundled this little soul and taken her home with me. I would have done anything within me to protect and love and cherish that one, precious child. I would have done anything for her to not feel the pain, the fear, the lonliness and agony that I knew she had already faced in 6 years of life. Yet in a moment of my own despair, one quick, sharp, look in the midst of what felt like hours of total chaos in my classroom, perhaps they were only minutes; the simple exclamation of “Not now Jamie*!” and her quiet, sullen response, the look in her eyes – the disappointment that she knew from so many other places in her life was now here in our classroom - was now, here, eating me alive - that was the moment that� decided to stop doing what I knew all along - a loud, abrasive, angry tone that so many others in my school used daily as a way to survive, was not going to work for me. �

I quit yelling and I started breathing.

Now about hospitality and generativity: One of my frustrations as a� school librarian is that I sometimes don’t� feel like I truly know anyone very well at all. There are so many students and teachers and books and technology and “stuff” for me to manage – it can feel like one overwhelming chore after another and I sometimes feel disconnected.

After what I gathered was a particularly rough lunch hour, several second grade girls arrived in my computer� project lab in a terrible way, for second graders. I didn’t know them very well; just that they were second grade girls and that their classroom teacher wanted them to conduct a technology enrichment project. I knew the basics about their reading skills, writing ability and their newly developing command of computer software. I didn’t really know “who” these young ladies were.

I knew enough, though, to see that they needed to talk about something; why someone else in our small group was upset, and what happened at lunch and who was mean, and why it was hurtful, and so on. I allowed them a few moments. I helped them debrief the incident and to identify the feelings. I listened. I calmed. I gave support. After a short time, we were able to put it at rest and get on with our task of recording the audio narration for our KidPix slideshow about the nine planets. (It was a way cool project - btw!)

As I walked the ladies back to their classroom, one of the girls took hold of my hand and asked me a few simple questions and then another student took my other hand and the next thing I knew we were all walking very closely together. There were exchanges of smiles, quiet nods of appreciation, and a basking in the glow of our successful work together – both the coming together of our research/technology project and the ability to take something upsetting and work through it to move on. I knew them and they knew me and there was connection.

This is one example of how I am hospitable toward my students and how being hospitable benefits me as the teacher. For me it is truly a beautiful act of “creativity in service of the young.”

With Gratitude, Katie Bunsey

*student name was changed

I begin the morning with hospitality by greeting my students with daily affirmations as they enter the classroom. I often extend myself by being available before and after class to address any of their concerns. I model respect at all times. I create a warm environment by giving praise and sharing and exchanging smiles. Through these actions I build a strong rapport with students and foster positive relationships with my students. The relationships I have with students is often what keeps me motivated to continue teaching. When I know I have reached someone and have made connections I feel that my soul is nourished. The greatest reward is to know you’ve made a difference in someones life.

I can recall a time when a student may have felt unwelcomed because she had to adapt to a new environment, language, and culture. Lidiya was a student from Ethiopa and spoke very little English. I made sure I did everything I could to make her feel welcomed. She was able to sense that I genuinely cared about her not simply as a student, but as a person. The following school year Lidiya wrote me a letter thanking me for being her teacher. I still carry Lidiya’s letter to remind me of the special connections that I hold dear to my heart.

I cannot think of a time where I treated students as unwelcomed guests. I believe in treating people the way I would like to be treated. Teachers benefit in practicing hospitality towards students by creating a pleasant learning environment that is condusive to learning. An environment in which students feel comfortable with self and willing to explore and learn, free from critiscm and ridicule.

I am not sure the issue is so much the actions of teachers, but the perceptions of students. Being inviting, caring, and accommodating is not a guarantee that a student feels welcome.

I consider my own exsperience. Whether or not I became engaged in a course depended not so much on my skills and aptitudes, but upon my perceptions of whether the teacher liked me. If I though a teacher liked me, I did whatever it took to get an “A.” If I thought the teacher was indifferent towards me, I put little effort into the class.

I think we treat students as unwelcome guests in numerous ways. First we develop the paradigm that students are workers and teachers are supervisors. Second, students are citizens in the school community, yet most decisons are made absent their input. Finally, we send rather clear messages that students are expected to learn in certain ways and in certain timeframes. Falling outside of those expectations has consequences. For example, who says you have to learn to read in first grade?

Phil Schlechty (2000) points out that “students are volunteers.” We might be able to compel their attendance, but we cannot compel engagement and effort. How do we treat volunteers? Usually with appreciation and kindness becasue we realize that they could have chosen to do something else. If students are indeed volunteers, do we treat them as such?

“The more we take the welfare of others to heart and work for their benefit, the more benefit we derive for ourselves. This is a fact that we can see.”

- The Dalai Lama